when you can feel it

I only began running after my time at the gym was getting boring. I was finding excuses to not go, basically because I had no goals in my future. I had a girlfriend tell me about a 5k her hospital was hosting. "You should run in it." I literally laughed..out loud...at her.

But once I stopped and thought about it, I thought, why not?

I began working out after I was 2 years post baby and still had some nagging baby weight. Which happens when you don't try to lose it. I was never a gym rat before P, so I wasn't planning on becoming one after her. But I needed help and some time by myself, It's hard, parenting is hard. So after my girlfriend mentioned the 5k which was 12 weeks away, I made it a goal.

At first, I literally walked for 4.5 mins and ran for 0.5 mins. I had NO endurance, NO stamina, and NO love for what I was trying to accomplish. I didn't get it (yet). I was conditioning to complete a 5k and that was it. The morning of the 5k was a cool September morning. (I know realize those are the best) There was a DJ and a TON of runners. This thing was huge! That part was not mentioned to me before hand, and I'm kinda glad the information was with held.

I struggled to say the least. I had failed to condition and or run outside before the race. I struggled to breath and not hyperventilate. I struggled to stay focus. I struggled so much I remember just wanting to see the end, the finish line, to just be done with this terrible thing I have done to myself. This running, who does this and thinks its fun?! Who pays money for this?! (Oh wait I did). Who finds this enjoyable?! Good heavens where is the finish line.... The picture of me from the race looks like I was at about mile 20 of a marathon. I was at mile 2.

Then it happened. I saw the finish line and as a started running towards it I caught a gimps of my daughter who was 3 years old at the time CHEERING me on!!! It was the most amazing feeling I'd ever felt. And I started to tear up. I was showing my daughter what I was capable of. And yeah I could be more conditioned, I could be faster, I could be a lot of thing. But what I was, was showing my daughter when we have a goal, you complete it.

And I was hooked.

I have given running the respect it deserves since that day. I am in awe of this sport and the people that involve themselves in it. When I think about my ultra all I think about is the feeling I will get when I see P at the finish line. And I can not wait for that moment. It will truly be, the ultra of my ultra. :)