funk town

I am in a funk...big time.

I've been living in funk town since the 20 km Saturday. My feeling of disappointment is overwhelming me. I'm contemplating taking my goals down a notch and running a half marathon in September instead of the Ultra. Or not running anything at all.

The only reason I might not run anything is because I'm not feeling the joy of running at this particular moment. Maybe I should lay off and not worry about training for anything. Or maybe I should get a hold of myself and stop the pity party and work really hard. I know now, I need to work on different terrains (hills) and more time on the trails.

Pro's about Ultra:

• It's a goal I set and I want to make good on it
• I'm half way through training so there is enough time to change things if need be
• It's a new adventure

Con's about Ultra:

• I'm half way through training and feel less than prepared
• I lack the ability to get out on the trails ( not many around here)
• Timing for the Ultra could be better (for my family, P starting school )
• My motivation has decreased

Pro's about a half:

• I'm pretty much there in my training. They offer 3 group runs with the half so you can get on the course, and I'd be running with people which I think I need to get into my life
• Course convenience, It's just a few miles away - no hotel stay needed
• It's not such a lofty goal, I could use it as a building stone for more things

Con's about a half:

• It wasn't my first goal, so I'm just doing it because it's easier and on the same day.
• I never planned on running a half because it seems like every one is running half marathon

Well I need to shake this funk and decide what I'd like to do. I've got 10 weeks before either one so enough to continue (w modifications) for the ultra or start thinking of a half marathon. 

None the less I need to be:

• Happy to be able to run
• Proud I've made it through 10 weeks of training
• Proud to have ran 12.4 miles which is 2.4 miles more than I've ever ran before
• Happy to be healthy with no knee pain or injuries of any kind
• Happy to have an uber supportive family that is willing to go in either direction that I choose :)

I can't believe this is what I am struggling with, like this is the biggest thing in my life taking over my brain. That's kinda ridiculous. There are people with WAY worse issues than I have. I need to stop being such a baby about them! 

Blog rant/post over! Thanks for listening!!